This is really a picture for some good laughs. I want to say I am sorry to my 3 companions that are with me through thick and thin, pain and joy. Me, Myself, and I, I am so sorry! I am moving to the end of this pregnancy and realized I might not have given my closest companions some slack.
This fourth pregnancy was a rough ride. I have accused my age, my body, my mind, and soul for my misery. Through this misery I have openly whined and projected my grief on anyone and everyone!
Well, God gave me an epiphany during this past week. I am a little strong headed, so He has to start slow and reveal his purpose to me one strand at a time. I have a hard time keeping my own chatter to Him quiet, so I can listen to Him. SO, He showed me.
THAT. This is one of those years that it was time for my body to have a few problems. During the last 9 months, I have dealt with 4 sinus infections, a tooth infection that led to a tooth pulled, and a bad fall. Well, I believe probably everything but the fall, would have happened pregnant or not.
So I realized it was not the pregnancy that made me miserable, it was just that I had a pregnancy during a bad year. And on top of that, I have not adjusted my mindset that I have 3 kids. Three kids under 5 when I got pregnant. Now, somewhere in pure kindness I should have adjusted my thinking and expectation of Me, Myself, and I.
Just as an example of my personal expectation, take a look at the picture. I had been up 2 hours before the rest of my family. I am making pancakes and getting the cakes mixed for my son’s birthday. Each hand is on a different task, as if they are different independent minds. I am not sure if this is really what God has intended for me, myself or I. How could I be so inconsiderate.
Me, Myself, and I – I am sorry. I should have been more considerate of the tasks required to be a wife and mother to 3 children as you took the physical toll of growing another blessing. I am sorry for not having patience as the weather changes of these past few seasons took a toll on you. I am sorry for looking for quick and easy solutions that took your focus away from God’s ultimate plan for you, that were not.
I have learned from this, that although I do not feel like our family is large, I think we are on the big size of a medium size family. In the past 5 years, we have jumped from 1 to 3 kids and soon to be 4, within the same home that we figured we would be in for only a few years. SO we lived and continued to live as if we were a small family in a “normal” size house. Well, like it or not we must live as though we are a large family, no matter what size I consider us to be.
My mantra will be: less is more! I will have several blessings walking around my home, I do not need to fill it with stuff. So I am reading blogs from women who have many children and I am trying to find any techniques to incorporate in our home that will help us thrive.
I hope you accept my apology as I do better to you, that will ultimately make my family better!