Friday, April 9, 2010

I am sorry!


This is really a picture for some good laughs.  I want to say I am sorry to my 3 companions that are with me through thick and thin, pain and joy.  Me, Myself, and I, I am so sorry!  I am moving to the end of this pregnancy and realized I might not have given my closest companions some slack.

This fourth  pregnancy was a rough ride.  I have accused my age, my body, my mind, and soul for my misery.  Through this misery I have openly whined and projected my grief on anyone and everyone! 

Well, God gave me an epiphany during this past week.  I am a little strong headed, so He has to start slow and reveal his purpose to me one strand at a time.  I have a hard time keeping my own chatter to Him quiet, so I can listen to Him.  SO, He showed me.

THAT.  This is one of those years that it was time for my body to have a few problems.  During the last 9 months, I have dealt with 4 sinus infections, a tooth infection that led to a tooth pulled, and a bad fall.  Well, I believe probably everything but the fall, would have happened pregnant or not.

So I realized it was not the pregnancy that made me miserable, it was just that I had a pregnancy during a bad year.  And on top of that, I have not adjusted my mindset that I have 3 kids.  Three kids under 5 when I got pregnant.  Now, somewhere in pure kindness I should have adjusted my thinking and expectation of Me, Myself, and I.

Just as an example of my personal expectation, take a look at the picture.  I had been up 2 hours before the rest of my family.  I am making pancakes and getting the cakes mixed for my son’s birthday.  Each hand is on a different task, as if they are different independent minds.  I am not sure if this is really what God has intended for me, myself or I.  How could I be so inconsiderate.

Me, Myself, and I – I am sorry.  I should have been more considerate of the tasks required to be a wife and mother to 3 children as you took the physical toll of growing another blessing.  I am sorry for not having patience as the weather changes of these past few seasons took a toll on you.  I am sorry for looking for quick and easy solutions that took your focus away from God’s ultimate plan for you, that were not.

I have learned from this, that although I do not feel like our family is large, I think we are on the big size of a medium size family.  In the past 5 years, we have jumped from 1 to 3 kids and soon to be 4, within the same home that we figured we would be in for only a few years.  SO we lived and continued to live as if we were a small family in a “normal” size house.  Well, like it or not we must live as though we are a large family, no matter what size I consider us to be.

My mantra will be: less is more!   I will have several blessings walking around my home, I do not need to fill it with stuff.  So I am reading blogs from women who have many children and I am trying to find any techniques to incorporate in our home that will help us thrive.

I hope you accept my apology as I do better to you, that will ultimately make my family better!


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